Day 47. Shape Shifter

When we were kids you very rarely would find us in the house. Unless you were sick or grounded.  During the summer months there were camp activities that I never realized that it was actually a baby sitting service. How dare they!

There was always a baseball, dodge ball or kick ball game that you could join in on. Jump rope could consume entire weeks. Hopscotch, knock hockey, tether ball, four square - these were the 'video' games of our time. Parents would go to work and the kids would head to camp. Every now and then a hobby artist would stop and draw pictures of Mickey Mouse, Snoopy, and Popeye on paper plates. I didn't realize until I moved to Oak Creek that this artist drove from camp to camp drawing his images for the children at the sites. It was a highlight of the summer.

I was never a skinny person, not at birth and never through my life have I had a body frame that anyone would consider 'thin'. But at the same time I have never been sedentary either. 

My early days I would have been considered a 'plump' baby, then a 'healthy' toddler. In my pre-teen years I went to the doctor with my mom, when he asked her about my appetite she told him that I 'eat like a horse'. She failed to tell him that I also swam ten miles a day and rode my bike where ever I wanted to go.

My early twenties I was consumed with my weight - trying every fad diet that promised a miracle waistline. Judy and I were living together by this point and we tried the 'egg' diet (you ate 9 eggs a day) the cabbage diet, a diet that had you eating lamb (found out I really don't like lamb). We would eat no more than 500 calories a day. When none of those worked I tried the popcorn and Tab diet (my own creation) - that lasted about a month. I generally lost weight on these diets, but then put it back on again.

The liquor store next to us had three candy bars for a dollar - I would keep them in the glove compartment of the car I had parked out back. Judy was always asking me why I was working so hard to clean a car I never drove (I didn't have my license yet) - I just told her that I was trying to make sure it was ready when I wanted to use it. Boy - was she mad when she found out I was sneaking out to eat a candy bar to stop my stomach from growling. I didn't realize that she was sticking to the God-awful diet because she thought I was. We both agreed that one was not for us. No one should eat that many eggs anyway. 

It wasn't always fad diets, I did try Weight Watchers (three times), Jenny Craig, vegetarian, Fen/Phen, you name it - I've probably tried it. My shape has changed many times up and down over the years, but one thing has not. My activity level. I do the best I can to make sure that I remain active. I very rarely sit all day long. I walk when I can, ride my bike all over the place. I love the high I get from exercise or just being outside. It can help my mood and gives me an opportunity to do something for me.

The best program I have every been on is the Keto diet. I felt great, I had energy, my blood pressure was good and I was close to getting off my diabetes medication. So why did I fall off the wagon if I was feeling so great? One word. Popcorn. I really enjoy a nice bowl of popcorn and a cold soda. I can give up just about anything, but popcorn is tough. 

Studies have shown that weight is hereditary. I do think that is true. I am not making excuses - I do enjoy food and sometimes I do eat more than I really need to. I am a late night snacker, which isn't good seeing as it is 11:30p and I'm still writing this story. I can't eat while I type - so there's that....

I guess this is an interesting story tonight - but I wanted to point out that body image is more than just what you see in the mirror. It's how you feel and how you present yourself. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that you should go out and eat to your hearts content. You need to make sure you follow the rules and remain active. 

But what I am saying is that if you worry too much about your weight you will end up sabotaging yourself. If you are overweight today - you don't have to stay that way. You don't have to be stick thin, model (I don't think they are actually healthy either) but don't beat yourself up if you are a little thicker than your friends. I wish I had, I look back at those photos of me in the earlier years and I wasn't as heavy as I thought I was, in fact, I spent so many years worried about what I put in my mouth and how much I exercised to get the weight off that I created an unhealthy attitude towards food. 

I am so fixated on food that I try hard to make issues of it each and every day. I need to adjust my attitude and I hope that by reading this you start thinking about yours. By paying a little less attention to food and the amount I do or don't eat each day I may finally win this war.