A number of people that follow this blog have asked why I decided to start writing these stories. I thought about it and here is my answer - of course in the form of a story!
As I've mentioned many times, I lost my mom when I was young. This meant that any stories she may have wanted to share with us as we were growing up were lost too. Well - almost.
The Kelley's played a huge part in my life, most importantly, my Aunt Kay. Just for clarification, because someone from my family is bound to put this in the comments....Aunt Kay wasn't really my Aunt. When I was little I had a hard time understanding that she was my cousin. You see, she was so close in age to my mom - and everyone that was that old had been Aunts. So therefore, I always called her Aunt Kay and the title stuck.Well, Aunt Kay was our connection to our mom's stories. Judy was the one that could always get her talking about the escapades the two of them went on, she would tell Judy the stories and Judy would share them with me. We wanted to take Aunt Kay to the ballroom where my parents met and record her stories of her and our mom working there, but sadly never had the chance. When we lost her first to dementia, and then to the effects of the disease, we had lost our stories and our history.
The more I thought of that loss, the more I wanted to give my children a glimpse into my childhood. I mean, think about it, our children only know us as adults. To them we never made mistakes, we didn't get into trouble, we didn't deal with problems they may have. I needed my kids to know I did. That I wasn't perfect, I struggled with life just as much as they did. I wanted to make sure that they never put me on a pedestal. I didn't want to be someone that they felt they could never live up to becoming. And I hope they never do, I am proud of the men they have become and always enjoy watching them rise and fail (yes fail, if we don't fail, we don't learn).
I hope by reading these stories, they realize that not only am I capable of mistakes, but also that I may have different ideas than they have and that is OK. If you want to, take my example and let your children know about your stories. Follow my lead, write stories. You don't have to share them with anyone but your kids. But I will warn you, it can, at times, bring back memories that aren't always happy and you will need to make sure you are ready to share those stories as well.
I always point people to my 'disclaimer' of sorts - the fact that these are my memories. Sometimes memories get warped a little by time and memories others have 'given' you. I'm sure that some of the stories I have about Tommy and Patrick were really Ruthie and Patty - but the characters don't matter as much as the theme. Stick to your guns. Your memories are what make you, you!
When I was in my late 40's I was introduced to Digital storytelling and the power that the story has to heal and evolve. I use this when I am thinking about how to tell a story. I don't have stories planned out day to day, just what pops in my head that day. But how to tell it, the voice or the path that it takes I do think about. The reason some of my stories don't appear until late in the day is generally because I am working it through my brain and onto the paper many times.
You also probably note that I don't always proof read my stories. Well, not at first. I need to be able to walk away from it and then come back to see the errors. But if it's late I post pre-proofed and then go back and edit.
I didn't need an instruction course to learn how to tell stories though, I have used the written word over my entire life to deal with pain, fear and celebrations. I have stories in many places - you just see most of them as photos. When I am trying to think of a story I want to tell I will go through my photo albums to find ones that stick out. Sometimes I post the photos in the blog. If I have my cell phone close I will snap a photo of the photo so I can include it. And, if I find ones after the fact I go back to add them in. This blog is really a gift to my children so I want to make sure that the photos help to tell the story.
The photo that is featured on this page is Jimmy holding up a book the two of us wrote called "The Monster Under Jimmy's Bed". It was written to help him sleep at night since he was sad that he needed a night light. We wrote the book to help him get over his fear of being shamed by friends for needing one. Sometimes (well, most times) kids can be cruelly honest about other people's differences without realizing that they may be more similar than different.
I gave a copy of this book to Mrs. Junas, Jimmy's preschool teacher, and she shared it with the class. I received many requests for copies, one from the child that was teasing Jimmy about needing a night light. I still have the book and maybe someday I'll submit it to be published. But for now, it is my memory of working through a hard time with Jimmy and the fact that it helped others in the long run.
We have used written stories to deal with much in our lives and I hope that, if nothing else, my stories have sparked you to share your stories with others as well.
Sharing stories has helped me to find that my life isn't much different from others, the characters in the stories change, but the themes remain the same.
But don't worry, I'm not going to stop writing, so many more stories to tell and share. Besides, I think it is helping some people I write about to remember life in simpler times, so if I can bring back some happy memories to help you make it through your day, well, then, my job here is done!
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