***Warning*** Names have been changed in this post to protect those involved. Well, except me.
In the winter of 1972 we were getting ready to move to Oak Creek. Our house on Van Norman had been sold and boxes had been packed and placed on the truck to head to the new home. There was only one problem. The new house wasn't ready yet. We had to be out of our house on Christmas Eve. What does one do with a family of 10 and no home? I don't think they could have afforded that many hotel rooms, so they did the next best thing. They shipped us out to friends and relatives.
Ginny had moved out by this point so Judy stayed with her. That is the only person I know for a fact where they were - I think Laurie and Cathy stayed with Bonnie, Karen was in the Army, Rick and Gary were by friends, Chris and Mary were with the parental units
in a hotel. Mike, where was Mike? Well, I hope it was nice.
I stayed with our long time Cudahy friends the (insert fake name here - let's say Smith family). They lived in a large two story home in (insert fake city here - let's say Hobbiton). The youngest member - (fake named Gina) and I had been friends for a long time, but it was one of those friendships that had started because our parents bowled together. After my mom died and we moved from Cudahy Avenue it became more of a friendship of convenience. So right now, I was staying with Gina and her family because it was convenient.
To say that Gina was a scheme artist is an understatement. I was not worthy to walk in her snake oil footprints.
We spent out days making candles and beaded jewelry in her basement and then walking all over the city blocks selling them to neighbors and friends. Gina had a sale pitch for everything and 'no' was rarely the answer. She was good.
Gina taught me another interesting skill that winter. The art of the 'five-finger' discount. Looking back I'd like to say I'm not proud of my actions and I would never advise it from any younger person (looking at my kids here). But I do have to admit that Gina had taught me well. I would put small items in my pockets and slip out with the agility of the Artful Dodger.
"It's so easy", Gina began. You just have to keep walking around and talking normally. "Isn't that stealing, Gina?" I asked (remember I was only 12). "No, not really, I mean, the stores always over purchase and this stuff ends up in some big sale bin. I wouldn't worry about it", I mean they aren't going to close because we take a few things.
I have to admit it was exciting, slipping bracelets and necklaces into your sleeve while you walked about the store. We would always purchase something with the candle money so we made sure we didn't abuse our new power, and somehow paying for a candy bar made it okay that I had a $5 necklace safely tucked into my shoe or sock.
This was almost a daily routine. It never occurred to me that I would have to, someday, explain where I had gotten all of the trinkets. Gina's mom caught us looking over our pirated treasure and asked the question I had been dreading.
"Where did all of this come from?"
I froze. We were goners. That was it - time to pay the piper. My father was going to beat me when he found out, or worse, he would make me take it back and confess to the store owner, or both. My mind raced, where did we get this? A random carnival had swept into town and we won it all from clowns...yeah, that was a good answer.
I opened my mouth and was surprised to hear Gina's voice come out of it. "We sold a bunch of candles and bracelets - this was all on sale and we bought it with the money".
Wow - I had never thought of that. I'm sure my ashen face gave us away, but Mrs. Smith was happy with the answer and left with a "nice job, I'm proud of you". Proud? Proud? Man, that was the kiss of death. Telling me she was proud of us for stealing and lying. I would be in that confessional for hours this week.
And that was the magical solution. Something else happened during those trips. I would get a weird rush from getting away from it. Secretly, I did hope we got caught - at least then I would hear from my dad. I hadn't spoken to anyone from my family for almost a month and I was getting quite homesick.
I would 'shop' with Gina and then we would go to confession on Saturday. It was the perfect crime. God forgave us because we confessed.
I continued my craft even after we were back in our new house in Oak Creek. I became the invisible child. Chris and Mary Beth took most of the attention (and less face it - they were babies so they needed it).
Drew's Department store next to the Sentry on Howell became my new 'shopping' destination. I was getting quite good. Most of my school and craft supplies were gained at the expense of all of the fine honorable shoppers to the store.
That summer, Drew's got its revenge. Gina was over for a visit and we were bored so we walked up to Drew's to hang out and see what we could get away with. Gina was much more aggressive than I ever was, I had my eyes on a pair of green post earrings. I had wanted my ears pierced for ever. My dad had already told me 'no', but I figured once the deed was done he wouldn't have much to say.
Such a rebel!
I had already slipped the earrings into my secret pouch on my tennis shoe (yes, I had created a pouch in my shoe! I am just as shocked as you!)
Gina was over by the necklaces. I saw her pocket at least 5 long gold chains before I wandered over to the snack aisle. That was always our signal.
We went to the register and paid. As we were leaving the voice you always dread came from behind.
"Ladies, aren't you forgetting something?" Oh man, this was it, busted at last. I turned around and casually looked at the cashier. Gina continued out the door.
"What?" I said. My mouth was becoming a desert and all of the blood was now heading into my shoes to hide in my big toe.
"Your friend didn't pay for the items in her pocket". I was safe, he had no idea about my secret pouch. "I don't know what you're talking about" I would have to add lying to this weeks confession.
"I think you do, and I think you should let your friend know that if she comes in the store again, I will have her arrested."
I turned and ran out of the store, caught up with Gina and told her about the warning. "Oh, sure" was her answer. "What are they going to arrest me for? By then I won't have the necklaces anymore."
I thought about that over and over and over again. It was at least two months before I walked into Drew's again and I was sure to pay for anything I wanted. I smiled and told the cashier to have a good day. I don't think he remembered.
It was the end of my life of crime. I had learned my lesson.
But there was one more lesson to be had. You see, I did take those earrings to my friend Cheryl's house. I didn't truthfully disclose where I had gotten them, saying they were expensive and from the doctor's office. In those days, doctors actually had high-quality metal earrings made especially for starter pierced ears. We went to her neighbors house who proceeded to pierce my ears.
Not only did I have to keep my father from walking to the neighbors house and suing them for performing the ear lobe altercation without his permission, but I was grounded for three weeks.
And, I got a nasty infection from the cheap earrings.
Justice served.
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